Never were less true words spoken than these -
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”
Words sink into our psyches, and embed themselves like weeds in our minds, hearts and souls. Long after physical bruises fade, the wounds left by words can continue to ache.
The good news is that the direct opposite is also true! Positive language, loving, supportive, constructive, encouraging conversations linger and also plant seeds which are nourished and watered by repetition and recall, re-enforcing a positive mindset and contributing to a sense of well-being.
You may be thinking, how come the bad stuff seems to have more of an effect and occupy more space in our minds and hearts than the good? The answer is a simple one… evolution. Our brains are wired to focus on the details of things that cause us negative emotions, especially fear, to increase our chances of survival if we ever come across that situation again.
While that does mean that we have a tendency to focus on the negative, we can also learn from those things, move past them, release them and grow. That childhood sticks-and-stones saying, more I think relates to the idea that when others throw cruel words at us, we can be fairly sure that they are more about themselves than about us, and as much as possible, try to let them roll off us, rather than be absorbed, but it takes practice and a strong sense of self to never be affected.
In yogic philosophy, the yamas and niyamas are codes of behaviour and ways of acting in the world, and one of the 5 yamas is Ahimsa - meaning Non-Violence. Ahimsa in yoga was a huge turning point for me, because not only does it mean non-violence in terms of physical action (clearly, hitting people or doing things which physically harm yourself are not good!), but also non-violence in the way that we speak and think, not only to and about others, but, crucially to and about our selves.
When you look in the mirror, do your eyes find imperfections, or can you consciously train yourself to look for the positive? Can you give yourself a compliment each and every day? Do you berate yourself for not getting things done on a long list of tasks, or do you remember to pat yourself on the back for the stuff you actually DID. Instead of telling yourself off, how can you use encouraging words to lift yourself up? Do you talk to yourself as though you are someone YOU ACTUALLY LIKE?? If not, why not? Give it a go!
I’ve created a downloadable sheet of 5 steps to self care - and the very first one is Mantras and Affirmations. If you would like to add more positive words into your every day, simply click on the link below to find 7 mantras and affirmations to use as and when you need them. Feel free to share this post and your thoughts or any questions below in the comments. What are your favourite affirmations to remind yourself how wonderful YOU are?
5 Steps to self care - Mantra & Affirmation
PS - want to have access to the full workbook? It’s part of a forthcoming e-course on Your Best Self Through Yoga. Simply email me to register your interest!