Radical Self-Care. Like many concepts, it has begun as a slow rumbling, like a distant sound, slowly building and gathering momentum. And gosh, I hope that it continues. Because this isn’t self-care as the magazines tout to us… this is something altogether more powerful..

How do you think of self-care? Is it your weekly yoga class, visit to the hairdresser’s, a massage or candle-lit bath? Those things are all really lovely, and bring a sense of well-being and of being looked after in the moment… until we dive back into the often frantic rhythm of life… I’m not saying don’t do the yoga class (of course!), the hairdresser’s the massage or luxurious bath… but, what if there was something more?

What if you could extend and deepen your self-care high?

Radical self-care is a topic that I’ve talked about often, perhaps without referring to it as such. But the concept is the same. It sits within self-acceptance, daring to love and accept yourself as you are, not in the way that society dictates. It’s in positive affirmations, rather than constant judgement and criticising. It’s in making appointments for yourself that you respect enough to keep, and more. Those are just the tip of the iceberg. My brilliant friend Michelle Reeves recently did a podcast about strategies for radical self care which I so recommend that you listen to (you can find it here).

Above all, I think that Radical Self Care sits within empowering ourselves, and THAT is huge!

In a society that prioritises busy-ness and measures our value on productivity, tells us how we should look, or what we should buy; the act of actively choosing to stop the doing, to create boundaries for our time and honouring ourselves and our journeys, means that we step away from the societal pressures and begin to prioritise the self, so that we don’t need the things that are constantly being sold to us to improve ourselves!  This is nothing short of an act of rebellion! (And who doesn’t love a rebel?!)

Here are a few things that might be worth considering and perhaps even beginning to implement as YOUR act of rebellion for radical self care - if anything resonates, write it down, pin it up as reminders, bring them into your life!

Exploring new skills, challenging the stories we tell ourselves or others tell us about who we are and what we can do. We are continually unfurling and finding more and more potential within. From the moment we instinctively began to push ourselves up to crawl, stand, then walk and run, we began to explore what we are capable of. Why should this stop at childhood?

A great friend of mine had 4 mini-strokes before her 45th birthday - as part of her radical self care as she recovered, she took a course in NLP (neuro linguistic programming), began a life-coaching business for other stroke survivors, and has in her late 50s taken up painting.

I know women in their 60s and 70s who are learning to do handstands and headstands for the first time in their lives - refusing to be constrained by what society deems as what we “should” be doing or what our age should look like is part of radical self care!

Equally, there are also women who have families they adore, who are making space for what they need, be it going on retreats, attending workshops and conferences, with no less love and care for their beloveds through honouring themselves.

Honouring the body you are in and the journey you have been on - when you look at your body, what do you feel? When you run your hands over your body, what comes up for you? For some people, their bodies are like foreign lands that they happen to reside in. Getting to know, love and appreciate your physicality is truly empowering.

Regardless of what society suggests that your shape should look like, our bodies have done incredible things to get to where we are right in this moment - how often do we consider this and recognise and congratulate ourselves for all that we have been through?

As part of your radical self care, I would invite you to give yourself permission to actively appreciate your body…. Find positive words to use about it. Look for it’s beauty, not for its flaws. Actively be grateful for where you are right now - see tying your shoelaces as as much of a win as being able to balance on your hands (if that’s your thing!). Explore and move your body in new ways - explore strength, explore mobility, dance. Apply body oils liberally and regularly, and self massage, while noticing how the body feels, and using ONLY positive language.

This isn’t about never changing the shape you are in (and who says you have to), but about finding a genuine and deep love for the shape you are in now and the path your body has travelled. It is a beautiful and strong vessel, and with your love, will only keep on becoming more so.

Changing the voice of the inner critic - We all have an inner voice that either cheers us on or puts us down. This isn’t new news. Bringing your awareness to this voice and to the tone it uses, and the vocabulary it uses is the first step - and then you can begin to choose to shift and choose how to direct your critic’s attention.

There are times when it serves us, and times when it absolutely doesn’t. Radical self care means taking control of that voice.

If you’ve ever done a yoga class with me, you’ll have heard this already, so apologies if I’m repeating - but let that inner voice be your inner best friend. Speak in a tone of voice that you would use to someone you genuinely care for. There are times that your inner best friend will let you know that you can achieve more, that there’s more in the tank - and there are equally times that your inner best friend will gently tell you to stop pushing yourself and driving yourself into the ground. To rest. To come back to you.

Regularly make it a practice to tell yourself positive things about yourself; words have great power (“and with great power comes great responsibility” - never truer words spoken).

Gratitude and acceptance - being present and actively looking out for and naming the things in our lives and about ourselves that we are grateful for. 

Living life with purpose on purpose - Making choices that support our dreams and passions. This is straight from Michelle’s podcast, and it takes my breath away each time I read those words.

This isn’t always straightforwards - but it is deserving of some time to think about it. YOU are deserving of the time to think about it. What lifts your soul when you wake? How do you want to feel? Excited? Calm? Motivated? Empowered? Joyful? Creative? How can you gently and intentionally build into your life things that support your purpose? How can you find your Dharma?

Write those thoughts down, begin to formulate a plan. What do you need to support your purpose, so that you’re not just on autopilot, doing all the things that need doing, or should be done. Your life is NOW. The main event is happening right this moment. What do you need to ensure that in 10-20-40 years time you won’t look back and have regret?

Take time to think about the seeds you want to plant (if you’ve done the Prepare to Unfurl programme with me, this will all ring a bell!), and what are the steps you need to take to clear the soil to plant and water new growth for your purposeful, beautiful life.

Setting boundaries - Think about setting boundaries for your time and what it means. Make and respect appointments for yourself - schedule in time for you and treat it as importantly as you would any other.

We are too quick to deprioritise ourselves, and push back things that are important to our self care. The practice of sticking to those appointments doesn’t only give you the  time on your yoga mat or at the hairdresser or in the bath - it goes deeper. It becomes radical self care in itself. Why?

It sends a powerful message internally that YOU matter, that the time you dedicate to yourself is vital, and it also creates a ripple effect - sending that message out to others not only that you matter, but also that perhaps, perhaps if you can take time to prioritise and value yourself, that they can do this for themselves too. 

Imagine what a powerful and radical shift this type of self care could be - and as a mother, i think about how this might filter down to my children.

Not only does it say that YOU get to matter, that YOU can hold space for yourself and know and respect your boundaries, but that this can be done without caring any less for others. In fact - and here’s the incredible secret behind radical self care -

When we don’t deeply care for ourselves we create lack. When we not only nourish but also heal ourselves, we no longer operate from a place of lack in our lives. What does that mean? 

We may not be consciously aware of it, but when we aren’t in abundance and are depleted by constantly pouring out our energy to others, it’s not just that there’s a danger of hitting burnout or general grumpiness, but we actually look for ways to fill that place of lack with other things and other people.

Cue unhealthy eating habits, sluggishness, or things that give a short term high, like shopping sprees, or binge watching tv with a soon-to-be-empty tub of ice cream (I’ve been there!).  And it extends into our relationships and interactions with others - we look for validation, joy, understanding, acceptance.  

If we found fulfilment within ourselves first, what could our interactions be? Supportive? Engaging? Compassionate? Joyful? More authentic, because we know who we are and we’ve done the job of filling up our cup so that we can pour gorgeous energy out to others?! Yes!!

Radical self care isn’t selfish, it is vital, and it has the potential to push back against societally ingrained values that tell us that we aren’t enough or need to conform.

Radical self care is about saying YES to YOU.

If you would like to find out more about Prepare to Unfurl, or have any thoughts to share about this, do email me here

If you would like to stake out time for yourself to explore movement and feel empowered through yoga practices, please check out the membership options I offer - you can grab a membership for yourself, or give as a gift to someone else. They start at £16 per month, to have access to the entire library of classes of different lengths and focuses, including a collection centered around these points of Radical Self Care.